Around the middle of August, I felt the pull to try to go off of my anxiety medication. I have been on Celexa for four years with only a short stint of trying to wean off of it while pregnant with Lucy, but in the end, I stayed on it throughout my pregnancy. My anxiety and depression were just too much at the time. After having Daisy, I was dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety, and so this medication quite literally saved me. After that, I was honestly afraid to not take it because I didn’t want to feel the way I felt before. But I felt like it was a good time to try. As far as motherhood goes, I’m out of the Newborn and a Toddler Trenches and now I’m in the Toddler and a Preschooler Trenches—VERY different—but in truth, the former felt way harder, which is just to say that now was a more appropriate time for me to attempt going off the meds.

I weaned off for about three weeks, which in hindsight was not NEARLY enough time. I should have gone slower, but I was dumb. I’d already spoken to my doctor about it prior to trying this, but truth be told, I did this on my own with her previous advice and whatever the dumb internet told me. After about a month of not taking it, I stopped taking any at all. And I felt fine!

I thought I was in the clear, but I was very wrong.