Words of the Year

Last year, my word was “commit.” To something. To myself. I committed to yoga and consistently used my mat for the year. I committed to at-home workouts — like so many of us in the pandemic — and I consistently rode my fake Peloton each week. I committed to outside time with Daisy, no matter the weather. I committed to therapy. I committed to showing up for myself. 

Because of that, some really beautiful things happened. Yoga finally started to feel like a home again instead of just another exercise. I hit my 100th ride (nearing 150 now) and got to bond over this silly and fun world of bike people. When Daisy walked for the first time, it was with her bare feet in the grass. I learned to move through my emotions instead of pretending I don’t have any, which has made me a better person in every aspect of my life. 

Looking back on all of that, I can see how my commitments really did something. None of it was about big obvious changes or accomplishments, because that is not what I want. I want to show up for myself so that I can show up for the people I love. Full stop. 

This year, I thought my word was going to be “celebrate.” The past two years have felt pretty unworthy of celebration, so I thought I would focus on celebrating the small things that aren’t usually celebratory. Making it through the week and popping some champagne when Kyle and I finally get Daisy to bed. Cook fancy meals at home just because. (Sidebar: a real thing that Kyle said on the evening I am writing this was “Don’t worry about messing it up, it’s just a weekday pie!” Week. Day. Pie.) Go out for ice cream right after school. Do something fun and silly for my students when they finish a big unit or assignment. Anything can be celebrated. Anything can be worthy of joy.

But then I kept hearing the words “nurture” and “honor” in my head. I literally woke up in the middle of the night and was thinking “Think of ways to honor yourself today.”

I made a list of things that feel like I’m nurturing or honoring myself. Bubble baths on week nights. Playing outside with Daisy. Going for a walk when I’m anxious. Making a cup of matcha in the mornings or after work. Preparing actual meals for myself instead of just snacks or random leftovers from the fridge. Doing yoga in the evenings. Reading instead of scrolling. Meditation and prayer. Getting enough rest. 

Those things look small, but they feel big. They feel like things that are actually helping me nurture myself. They feel like ways I can honor myself. They feel like ways to celebrate myself. 

So can I have three words this year?

Nurture. Honor. Celebrate.

Nurture myself as I would my daughter.

Honor myself for what I really need. 

Celebrate myself for all I already am.

There will always be milestones or accomplishments or goals. This year, I want to focus on meeting myself where I am. 

I want to nurture that woman, I want to honor her, and I want to celebrate her.