We Are All Human

robin1

I'm obviously not the only one feeling sad and haunted by Robin Williams's suicide, but I feel compelled to say the things some people I know might be afraid to say. I'm going to say the things that have been swirling around in my mind since I heard the news and every time I hear of someone taking his or her own life.

You'll have bad times, but it'll always wake you up to the good stuff you weren't paying attention to."-- Robin Williams as Sean Maquire, Good Will Hunting

Let me start off with this: I've been "depressed" and had anxiety, but I wouldn't say I've suffered from depression, if that makes sense. I definitely think there's a difference. I've felt hardcore grief, confusion, sadness, and out of control, but I wouldn't say I know what it really feels like to be depressed. I've never gone more than a couple of days where I don't feel like getting out of bed. I've never felt like the pain of life was too much to continue on. I've never felt that taking my own life was easier than continuing to live. And I would never compare my "sadness" to those who truly suffer each day with depression and their mental health, and I don't think other people should either. I am not claiming to be a professional when it comes to dealing with these issues, but to understand Robin Williams's death or anyone else's suicide, one must understand mental illness itself. So I'm trying to do that.

Growing up, depression or mental illness weren't really discussed, even though I now realize that I was surrounded by it. Friends and family members have struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life, even when I didn't fully understand it. I know I'm not the only one, but I've heard depression called "the blues," or "just having a hard time lately" or "a little down." People can be too proud to admit they need help, or that they think someone they love might need help. Obviously, depression isn't something fun to talk about at the dinner table, but I think it's important to be open about it. That is essentially the first step to helping others, and yourself, deal with it.

Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.-- Robin Williams in Patch Adams

robin3

We are afraid to admit we need help, until perhaps it's too late. How bad does it have to be before we ask for help? Why do we let pride or denial keep us from happier times? Mental health is something that gets swept under the rug again and again and again. We see it with suicides, school shootings, bombings, and other violent crimes, and yet, no one seems to pay much attention to the stability of others until something awful happens, until someone takes the life of another or himself. I'm not saying that these things are ever going to fully stop, but maybe if we were taught more about mental illnesses, depression and anxiety, perhaps it would be easier to recognize it in others, or for us to recognize it in ourselves.

There are the obvious ways that people struggle — they drink too much, isolate themselves, don't sleep or sleep too much, self-medicate, sabotage good relationships — but what about when it's not so obvious?

Robin Williams was seemingly so happy. Jolly, even. He was open about his struggles in several interviews, but somehow, we were all still floored when we heard what had happened. Of course, to most of us, he was a stranger. We didn't know him on a personal level, but only his characters, brilliant comedy and media interviews. We didn't get to talk to him on a day-to-day basis, so naturally, we will never know his true struggles. He left behind a true legacy of comedy and art that has shaped generations, but inside, he was battling something serious. And none of us were the wiser. So what about the people you do encounter each and every day? What do you see in them? Would it make a difference if you just spent some time with someone? Maybe. Is maybe enough to try?

robin2

No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.-- Robin Williams as John Keating, Dead Poets Society

Again, I'm not a professional, and I know that mental illness and depression can be so incredibly difficult and be made up of endless details and pieces. My point is that we should maybe be a little kinder to one another. We should use our words for good, lifting people up instead of bringing them down, because we don't know what someone might be dealing with. We should stop being so wrapped up in ourselves that we miss important details of the people around us. We are all human beings, dealing with our own struggles and our own demons. We are all on the same earth, doing the same things, trying to live happily. We are supposed to be on the same team, helping each other along the way.

Words are things. You must be careful, careful about calling people out of their names, using racial pejoratives and sexual pejoratives and all that ignorance. Don't do that. Some day we'll be able to measure the power of words. I think they are things. They get on the walls. They get in your wallpaper. They get in your rugs, in your upholstery and your clothes, and finally into you. --Maya Angelou

I know different people are going to have different views on depression and suicide, and perhaps you think I'm naive or unworthy to write about this, but trust me when I tell you, I know what depression looks like, even if I've not experienced it myself. I've seen it in the eyes of people I love, and that, to me, is enough.

Let us not allow this to go on. Let us find better ways to acknowledge and treat mental illness and depression. Let us work better together as the dwellers of this earth. Let us love one another.