Seven Hundred Thirty

(If you don't already know the story behind this, you can read about it on my old blog here, here, and here, and absolutely go read his sister's blog here.) It's been 730 days since Corey's accident - two years without him.

Everything good and exciting that has happened in the world since that day has been followed by the thought of his absence. My wedding. Friends' weddings. Babies being born. Graduations. Parties. He's always missing. There's always an empty chair.

Of course, you get a little more used to it. "Life goes on," they say. It does, the world keeps turning, and people keep doing things they have to do. It's just different. Less than.

I keep this old photo of us on my windowsill. It was taken at 4H camp when we were both in middle school. Our relationship was really just beginning, and yet, it was like we'd never been apart. Corey was always ornery, and I'm pretty sure he threw a dead bat on me at camp that year. But for some reason, it never mattered. If someone else had done that, I probably would have thrown a holy fit, but since it was him, I just pushed him, laughed and moved on. His being ornery is part of what made him so magnetic.

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September is the most jam-packed month for me, even more so than December for the holidays.

September 7th - wedding anniversary. September 10th - Kyle's birthday. September 21st - anniversary of Corey's death. September 25th - my birthday. September 26th - Kyle's mom's birthday.

Needless to say, I go through a lot of different emotions during this month. It's one big roller-coaster of feelings, but the over-arching one is always missing Corey and dreading the 21st. It's always in the back of my mind.

I won't be able to be at this year's memorial gathering, and I'm sick over it. I just hope my people know my heart is on Danger Mountain with you all. >